Love Doesn't Exist

I felt sick to my stomach watching him kiss her. I haven’t had these kinds of feelings in a long time. Was I really jealous? I just have to be honest with myself…and yes, I was. I didn’t want Andre’s lips on anyone’s but mine.

“You okay?” James broke my thoughts.

“I’m fine.” I just have to find an easy way to let James know that I’m leaving and this isn’t going where it once may have been. I felt bad for leading him on but for once in a very long while, I decided I had to silence these insecure thoughts in my head…and follow my heart. I would get outta here and call Andre tomorrow. I had to let him know about these feelings that have somehow penetrated my walls.

“James, I don’t think I can do this whole revenge thing. I thought I could because you are definitely hot” I said with a wink, “but I guess I’m not over him”.

“Damn. You sure? It would really be giving it to him” he said with a desperate look.

“I’m sure.” With that he slid out of the booth and headed for the bar.

“Damn, tease”, I heard him say under his breath. And he had every right. He was hot so I’m sure he’d have no problem finding someone to ease his pain tonight.

I slid out of the booth with a faint smirk on my face. I finally knew what I wanted and I wasn’t afraid to admit it. I wanted Andre for myself. As I walked out of the door, I glanced in his direction. His arm was around her in an intimate embrace. A cold tingle surged through my body. I hated seeing them together like that. Sigh. Tomorrow. The cold slapped me in the face as I opened the door. It was beginning to rain out as I walked to my car. The rain felt so good on my face. I stopped short of unlocking my car. I closed my eyes and turned my face towards the sky. I lost myself in my thoughts while the soft rain tickled my face. I felt so…what was this that I was feeling? It seemed so foreign. But I seemed to be having a lot of strange feelings lately…since I’d met Andre. Andre.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” A voice was suddenly in front of me. I quickly opened my eyes. Andre. I just stood there silently looking into his eyes. I wasn’t prepared to tell him about these feelings yet.

“Yes”, I managed. “It feels so…” I paused struggling to find the word that had twice escaped me.

“Free”, he whispered as he closed his eyes and let the rain hit his face.

An alarming but warm sensation filled my heart. He hit the nail on the head. Yes. Free. The rain made me feel free…and I later realized that so did he. I watched him in the rain and analyzed every line on his beautiful face.